The imperfections deemed in contrast to societies perception of a perfectly formed human along with the physical scars of the past tells the story of an individual based on outward assumptions and inward reactions. A scar tells of an incident of trauma; this trauma can occur in youth when as children we play indelicately without worry over potential bodily harm and the long term affects of outward appearances. As teenagers these scars can tell the story of young adolescent misbehavior for example, the time when a teen snuck out of the house with the assumed stealth of a ninja jumping out the window and over the fence only to realize they couldn’t climb to save his or her life and were as graceful a bird covered in tar. Incidents that face persons of every age including an accident such as a car crash, leaves a scar that can tell a story of a drunk driver and an innocent bystander or a family with children driving home after what will become the last time they spend a joyous day at an amusement park or any other event with their family. A scar on the wrist can tell of the time you tried to end it all at the lowest of your mental state, puncture marks can tell of a previous battle with addiction, as recent as the freshest scar. A scar to the face, or leg, or butt or anywhere else for that matter, can tell of the neighbor’s pitbull that got out and you happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. To the dog you were an intruder or just too juicy to resist a nibble. These scars, if not publicly located, are features that we usually keep to ourselves but what about the so-called physical imperfects that we are born with.
My nose is too big, too small, I wish I had narrow/wider hips, bigger/smaller butt, broader/slimmer chest, bigger/smaller boobs, I wish I were taller/shorter, fairer/darker skinned, straighter/curlier hair, I wish I were skinny/ I wish I could gain even little bit more weight, and we all hear or say the rest. The psychological illustrations of your self perception can vary depending on the comparison of one body to the invisible cardboard cutout of the perfect man or woman. When someone more closely resembles the cutout are they interpreted to by more confident than others, less often to be single, a good or conceited person? What if they are against the cutout, even a startling contrast to it, are they not still beautiful? Do they feel beautiful on the inside and radiate with confidence? Or, do they shun themselves from extroverted behavior, assumed to have less dates than the average person or not deserving enough to have a piece of the cardboard cutout? Our body is a never ending feature length film, the never ending story of the biography of our existence, the music of our heart and the painting of our truth. That is why we are not usually intimate with everyone, in every sense of the word intimate, especially of physical intimacy, we are revealing our true self to someone else by an exploration of our body.
Is there anything significance in a person's body other than the insecurities it provides?
ReplyDeleteWhen I think of what my body signifies to me, it is how it compares to others, and restricts what is socially possible. Race, physical attractiveness, gender, and strength-- do you honestly think any of these qualities could have any significance to me if I were the last person on earth? The body provides an identity within a larger group. To us personally, what is the body? When I think, or produce self-talk within my mind, the body has no significance; it’s simply a vessel.
There is no "secret code" or whatever the prompt called it-- sure I have scars that recount a tale- I have clothes, old school papers that signify stories larger than themselves... who cares? Every physical thing that we encounter in our lives gains a significance through our interaction with it, how is the body any different? The body is very two dimensional in its representation of the person, and what potential it does have is liken to a mannequin where i drape it with cultural insignias. Perhaps we give too much meaning to the body. A person is less willing to share their body—not because of its personal meaning, but how its exposure to society could reveal a perceived “inferiority” we really have no control over.
In responds to Amber,you asked a question “Is there anything significance in a person's body other than the insecurities it provides? My answer is yes; there is so much more to a person’s body then the insecurities that one carries around. I believe that a person’s insecurities are just a form of low self-esteem, and I blame it the environment the person grew up in as a child, and next on the society they live in. Because there are so many reminders of what beauty is suppose to look like, women have low self-esteem, and only focus on what they look like instead of their beautiful uniqueness that sets them apart from other females. Yes, the body is a vessel, but it is not simple; the body is very complicated. There is so much going on than meets the eye. Furthermore, it may be some truth to what you said, “A person is less willing to share their body—not because of its personal meaning but how its exposure to society could reveal a perceived “inferiority” we really have no control over.” My understanding to secret codes written on the body is that they—are called secret codes because nobody knows about them but the person who wrote them. It is difficult for anyone to know what secret codes are written on other people’s body unless they sit down and take an interest in knowing that person’s life journey. Everyone has a story to tell about their life, and it could be in a form of a song, a book, art, or it can even be written on the skin. To me a secret code written on the body is a way of using the body as a canvas to write something invisible on it; it can be anything that can help the writer identify a special moment or not so special moment in that person’s life.
ReplyDeleteIt is quite amazing that we not only survive, but many of us thrive in this unique 21st century and yet we observe life, in the effervesce of champagne – puny champagne at that. It seems to me that if we can write novels, we can pretty much figure out whether we are alive while reading them. Meaning yes, physically there must be something significant in and about the human body or we would have very duplicitous thoughts about the culture in which we live; a culture that would be hell-bent on most of us not surviving or surviving as matter or an amoebic something or other. I do believe there is so much more to us than that. It is very interesting to me that God (in whom lots of people believe) has no gender. And to top off that God has no gender, supposedly we were made in God’s image, so why do we go about making something that God God-self did not make an issue? That one’s for me!
ReplyDeleteWe are more than imperfections considered in comparison to society’s dim-witted view of human beings. The incidence of trauma may have lodged itself into our DNA, but it does not take up the whole of our being. Though I believe negative patterns would love to take hold of our livelihood, I don’t believe we are truly capable of judging every aspect of rightness or perfection. There is such an array of us that there must be some beauty in all of us. Perhaps in realizing who made up the cookie cutter design we then find out what their expectations are not our own and reject that “code” and welcome our own body’s natural code.
I agree that our bodies are an ever running feature length film that carries with it the blueprint for its peaceful existence. I also believe that my body – this vessel is important enough to be treated right; nourished properly and to show it love or, as proven by newborn infants who went without touch, it will die. To me bodies do not restrict what is socially possible or spiritually possible, but they at times restrict what is physically possible.
Do I think we give too much meaning to the body, in some instances we do, but in many others we don’t. A mannequin could sleep around and it would not matter. Personally, I don’t really care if the world is harsh to a mannequin, but what concerns me is if a person is doing something (whether forced or not) that they do not want to do and shame is derived from it. The pain then does not happen to a mannequin, but to a living breathing person who happens to have feelings and who may tend to take that very body and act out because of some trauma that someone has rendered as insignificant. The code then becomes sleeping with a loaded gun or a switch blade knife because of fear, the code becomes never allowing him/her-self to be in a dark room alone, the code becomes meanness, or physical abuse, the code becomes a family trauma that runs from generation through and to generations. The body is more than 2-D, it is 3-D at best, there is body (the physical), soul (the psychological), and spirit (God).
Sharing one’s body is a wonderful and welcoming adventure, but there is personal meaning for me because it is my body – mine! Inferior by someone else’s standards or not I chose in which way I will be intimate with my lover, my friends, my family and etc., and I refuse to affix it to rhetoric that may prove to be a death sentence.
I really liked how you pointed out all of the different expectations in our society when it comes to how a person’s body is supposed to look. It’s true that there is a “cardboard cutout” in which we shape and morph ourselves in an attempt to fit into the standard. We want to perhaps look sexy and be the prettiest. And as we strive for these things they begin to define us, which then becomes a negative thing. I agree with Amber when she said our bodies are simply vessels in which we interact and we have become so wrapped up in our physical appearances that we don’t realize that we are giving too much meaning to our physical selves. However, I do think that we have a responsibility in how we treat and present our bodies. Too many women and young girls around the world have a mindset of the sexier, the better. There is almost no self-respect for who we are or for the people around us. We have begun to simply not care, exposing our bodies for the world to see, when we don’t think about how it actually affects individual lives and relationships. Furthermore, when it comes to sharing our bodies in intimate ways, I think that because of this continual deflating mindset of respect we will share ourselves with anyone and everyone that’s willing to look our way. This breaks my heart. It would be so beautiful if we would only share ourselves with one person; if our “secret code” was meant to be explored by one single lover. I know that this seems completely insane and unrealistic, but what a beautiful relationship that would be. Where there is no one else occupying the mind, except that person. This could only be accomplished by having that true respect for ourselves. I’m seeking to live in that place; where my view of myself allows me to be confident in who I am as a woman so that I don’t feel like I need to expose my body to get some attention, but I would stand out in a crowded room because of the person that I am.
ReplyDeleteScar Tissue and Body Images, By The Writing Ash: Blog response # 8
ReplyDeleteI was very much on the same page as you when you spoke about how people criticize their bodies. You’re right, people are generally not satisfied with their bodies unless they think that they are ultimately perfect in every way. In which case, I guess that person could be called conceited. This is not a very attractive attribute. The majority of the population doesn’t think this way. They are as you said, concerned about whether they are too this or too that. Whether they have the perfect skin color, hair color or even perfect teeth. I know when I was growing up my friends and I spent a significant amount of time asking each other: “Do I look Ok” or “Are you sure this is the right outfit?” We still do that today when we are going somewhere special! However, now it’s: “do I look too fat and is my butt to big!” Then we get on to the subject of outfits and so forth. Nevertheless, there are people who are out in society and are comfortable in their own skin with out any real major insecurities. People really need to realize in the big scheme of things it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Pardon the cliché’. If a person is beautiful on the inside then they feel good on the outside as well. However, sadly enough, I’m sure they deal with their own inner struggles just like the rest of us. No one is perfect.
I like that you talked about how our scars can tell stories of careless adolescent behaviors, most likely because at one time or another we were all victims of sneaking out or in of our windows at 3 am while our parents are sleeping and have the scars to prove it. Or at times, like you said, we could have been in a fist fight at school or in a drunk driving accident. Any of the situations that you named could result in scars, physically and/or non physically, that can remind us of a certain moment or a certain day just by looking at it. I also liked how you talked about our outward appearances. Scars don’t have to be on the outside of our body, emotional scars are only internal, and not only that, those scars are more likely representations of events that we will remember, even though they are not visible. We all have our insecurities whether some people like to believe it or not (in reference to the cardboard cutout that you were talking about) but it just matters if you believe you are beautiful or not and I think you do a good explanation of everything in your blog.
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